Joke

anything and nothing
vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 04:38

Why didn't the young boy's parents let him watch the big band concert on TV?

Too much sax and violins! :roll:

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 04:42

A young man walks into a record store and asks the clerk, “Do you have anything by the Doors?”
“Sure,” replies the clerk, “a mop bucket and a fire extinguisher.”

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 04:46

What's the average temperature outside Motown Records?

3 Degrees, 4 Tops...

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 04:47

Did you hear about the stockbroker who bought a record player?

He thought it was a sound investment! :)

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 04:52

Did you hear about the guy with an unusually long Police record?

It's a 12-inch with a 17-minute version of "Every Breath You Take"...

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 04:55

Did you hear about the guy who smashed up 1,000 LP's in one hour?

They say he broke a lot of records...

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 05:11

Did you hear about the wasp expert who walked into the record store? "Do you have a record called "The Sounds Of The Stingers"?, he asked. "Why yes we do!", said the clerk. "Would you like me to demo it for you on our turntable?" "Sure!", says the expert. So he listens to the first track and says, "I'm an expert, but that doesn't sound like any wasps I've ever heard! Are you sure you've got the right record?" The clerk looks at the label and says, "Yes, it's the right record" and proceeds to play the next track...Still unruffled, the expert says, "I know my wasps and those are not the sounds of wasps!" Puzzled, the clerk thinking there was a defect on the record says, "Let me play you the last track. Maybe you'll recognize these sounds..." He plays the last track, but by this time, the wasp expert is flying off in a rage! "Don't you know what wasps sounds like, you imbecile?!! THOSE are not WASPS!" By this time, the clerk's boss walks in and says to the man "What's the problem here?" The guy says "I'm a wasp expert and none of the tracks on this record sound anything like wasps!" The boss looks down at the record and laughs..."No wonder you didn't hear wasps...He was playing you the BEE side!" :lol:

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 05:28

By the way, did you hear about the guy who set a record for eating a whole grandfather clock?

It took him three hours and he said it was the most time-consuming thing he ever did!

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 05:39

What did one record needle say to the other record needle after telling him a bunch of good music jokes?

I'm really in the groove today! 8-[

Hey, they can't ALL be winners, you know... :wink:

lenjack
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Re: Joke

Post by lenjack » 04 Jun 2019 15:33

vinyl master wrote:
04 Jun 2019 03:56
Why did the amplifier hum?

It didn't know the words! :roll:
That one is older than Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield combined. #-o

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 04 Jun 2019 17:40

lenjack wrote:
04 Jun 2019 15:33
vinyl master wrote:
04 Jun 2019 03:56
Why did the amplifier hum?

It didn't know the words! :roll:
That one is older than Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield combined. #-o
Yeah...I know... :oops:

...I couldn't help myself, though... 8-[

lenjack
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Re: Joke

Post by lenjack » 04 Jun 2019 17:51

It's OK...you're forgiven.

circularvibes
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Re: Joke

Post by circularvibes » 04 Jun 2019 18:49

I for one am really enjoying these jokes, even if some are groaners. It's nice to have a safe thread where there is no bickering or political debates of any kind. Thanks to all contributors.

DarthMaul
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Re: Joke

Post by DarthMaul » 08 Jun 2019 00:31

You know what’s really odd?

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

vinyl master
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Re: Joke

Post by vinyl master » 08 Jun 2019 04:52

Did you hear about the two antennae who got married? The wedding was awful, but the reception was great! :wink:
Last edited by vinyl master on 08 Jun 2019 05:26, edited 1 time in total.