Age Difference Between Couples (Extremelly Off Topic)

[kelvinMunson]

17 years ago, when I met my partner I was 40 ............ she was 26; age never came into the equation at the time and never has since........

Quit worrying about your ages, thats irrelevent when everything else works, and get on with life.........

[safe1]

17 years ago, when I met my partner I was 40 ............ she was 26; age never came into the equation at the time and never has since........

Quit worrying about your ages, thats irrelevent when everything else works, and get on with life.........

Well that is what i'd call the definition of coincidence.

I'll give it a try.

[majerjack]

Well, gentlemen, I can see that I will have to be the Dutch uncle of this thread. I do not consider myself an expert in romantic relationships, but I do have experience with women both older (by 17 years) and younger (by 20 years).

Age differences in a romantic coupling DO matter, if the intent of the couple is a life-long commitment. If the intent is just to have fun and enjoy each other's company, age differences matter much less. Both men and women experience somewhat predictable changes as they age: we are always in the process of becoming someone else. These changes are more pronounced in the younger years than in the older ones: a 20-year-old changes more in the five years to age 25 than does a 40-year-old in the five years to 45. Our likes and dislikes, our concerns and motivations, our attitudes and priorities all change greatly when we are younger, due to the unique background and experiences we each have in our lives. The more changes that occur in one or both of the partners, the less stability will will be present in the relationship. Thus, though age differences always matter, they matter less if both partners are older than 25-30.

Ther are other concerns: communication can be challenging if both partners do not have the same cultural interests, shared activities can be curtailed if they are not each at a similar level of physical fitness, activites with friends and families can be awkward and uncomfortable and introduce great stress into the relationship. The presence or absence of children in a marriage has already been mentioned. In addition, the greater the age difference, the less the relationship will be perceived by one or both parties as a partnership of equals: this is guaranteed to introduce stress and instability.

Those who enter into a long-term relationship with someone much older or younger must consider all these things if they want to build a successful partnership. In general, the older both parties are, the higher the degree of success can be expected, since our self-image and maturity usually become more stable as we get older.

[bastlnut]

well,

that is interesting.
i found that when i was younger i prefered older women because the ones my age were too immature and less well read.
now i always end up with younger women because the ones my age are simply too fuddy duddy, too set in their ways and too one track minded.

even if the relationship is just to have fun, it is still a relationship.
i think it has to do more with the 2 people having a similar sense of curiosity, fun and adventure.

regards,
bas

[kelvinMunson]

Well Majerjack............. I'm very glad I wasn't given the benefit of your opinion regarding long term relationships 17 years ago; that might have put me off going into a very successful and happy relationship with a woman 14 years my junior........ with the additional cultural differences due to me being English and her German

[majerjack]

kelvinMunson,

Every rule admits to the occasional exception. I am always glad to hear of two people finding happiness with one another: it can be very hard to find.

My opinions are based upon years of personal experiences and observations. Love does not conquer all; nor is it everything. Those who ignore the life lessons I mentioned do so, I believe, at the risk of their own happiness and peace of mind.

[flavio81]

Update: I went out with the girl yesterday. I'm in love... Yes i'm convinced it can work. And i'm starting to thing she's into it too (we're still dating).

FYI: Me=29 years, she=18 years old.

[safe1]

........ with the additional cultural differences due to me being English and her German

KM,

I am Greek and she is Romanian.
Do you also happen to drink Gin and Tonic?

MajerJack,

you have a point. But i hope it will not be the rule to my case either...

I see that woman every day . I have difficulty to believe or understand her motivation choosing me, and although i got encouraged positively from many of you, still the age difference makes me somewhat nervous.

For now, i grabbed her...

Peace of mind? for now i don't have. It's too early i guess...

Flavio,

when I was 29 no woman below 24 wanted me.
Life is strange.

[davidsrsb]

Compatible education levels, social background and expectations are far more important factors for long term compatibility

[kelvinMunson]

No........ I don't drink G&T............ maybe it was my love for German Wheat Beer that brought us together............. she was working in a bar at the time........

[safe1]

she was working in a bar at the time........

You understand what i mean i believe

Don't tell more,

[flavio81]

Compatible education levels, social background and expectations are far more important factors for long term compatibility

I'll take note of what you said. Thanks.

[starterwiz]

The very thing that makes a difference is each person's commitment. If both are profoundly commited, and continue to commit as new issues arise in life, the relationship will go on. BUT the relationship needs the commitment of BOTH parties. You can only control YOUR OWN commitment. It is a necessity, and a reality, and a certainty, that you have to let her FREE to make her own commitments. If she withdraws her commitment to you...that's IT. Nothing/nothing/nothing can change that. Nothing...one HAS to let her GO without explanation. The only valid reason is:" I don't want to go on with this relationship." There is NO other valid reason. It is an uncontestable reason. Looking for other reasons is utterly wasteful and potentially deadly. One simply lets go...and that's IT. (Oh, but one should try to break the financial values equitably...but that is another subject, entirely).

Just make your own commitments, and let go of other people's. Freedom is life's greatest risk, but it is better, because one controls one's own path instead of another person's. ( It IS greatly gratifying if one's path is accompanied by the loved person, but that is the risk of Freedom. Both are free to commit to each other, and neither one owns the other...because ownership ENDS freedom and establishes slavery). Slavery is a removal of human dignity on the way to a lower form of life.
bauzace50

That, my friends, is wisdom. Pure wisdom. Well put bauzace50!

[E G Tipping]

Hi Fred,
The fault was yours, to much "Royal Jelly"

Happy New Year
And an abundant Honey season.

[ Cheer's,

Tippo.
quote="mysticfred"]My second wife was 10 years younger than myself, though in her head she was age 13 - i soon got fed up with her "little miss strop" teenage tantrums...


.[/quote]