Age Difference Between Couples (Extremelly Off Topic)

[safe1]

Does age difference between couples really matter? In this case i talk about man being older than the woman.

But i don't speak about just 3-4 years older. I speak about man being 10-15 years older than the woman.

Is a relationship like that viable?

What do you think? What are your experiences?


Extremely of topic, i know

[mysticfred]

My second wife was 10 years younger than myself, though in her head she was age 13 - i soon got fed up with her "little miss strop" teenage tantrums...


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[flavio81]

Does age difference between couples really matter? In this case i talk about man being older than the woman.

But i don't speak about just 3-4 years older. I speak about man being 10-15 years older than the woman.

Is a relationship like that viable?

Love is what matters and yes, it is viable. I'm 29. My ex girlfriend was 11 years older than me. Now i'm just starting to date a girl that is 11 years younger than me.

I loved my girlfriend and yes, i think i really love this young girl.

I certainly will not let small unimportant things like "age difference" stop me from making my dreams real. Obstacles are small when you are really in love.

[kelvinMunson]

I've been with my partner for nearly 17 years.......... and she's 14 years younger than me........... age difference has never been any kind of problem to us

[satanfriendly]

Age difference is whatever you want to make of it. As long as you are happy, she is happy and you are happy together then in all honesty it is irrelevant.

Just don't listen to others and go with how you feel.

Love in the true sense just does not hold any barriers or conditions.

[Blue Angel]

1 year dif.

Remember, love is blind I'm not married to a mole, btw but sometimes wish I was.

ba

[JollyJeweller]

Interesting question, it's very pertinent at the moment.

I'm 52 , and my partner is 19 years younger than me, a perky 33.
We get on brilliantly , and love each other to bits, but recently a spectre has arisen, that of children.
At 52 the thought of being a dad fills me with dread, she however at 33 has her biological clock ticking like a time-bomb.
It's causing real issues.

[satanfriendly]

I know how you feel JJ, the same question has sprung up here as well and I have to consider whether it would be fair on a child at 50 and those years in the future.

[safe1]

2 months ago I got out from a long relationship (really long) which never reached marriage. I am 40 she was (is) 38 but it didn't work.

About a month ago i met a woman (in my country I'd call her a girl because she is too young), she is 26.

I didn't go after her, she went after me, she met me in a bar at my worst moments of my life. My worst moments didn't come only by the fact that a long relationship of mine (with my ex) ended badly, i also lost my job 2 and 1/2 months ago because of the economical crisis where i leave (Greece that is).

I told her everything about my job AND my ex, all that happened to me the last 2 months.

She replied: "so what?"

...

After a few days i told her this: "you know that i am older than you...don't you?" (meaning that i don't know if this relationship can lead somewhere)

She replied: "so what?"


So far i can't tell that she wants to stay with me for my money (me, not having a job currently), or for my car (it's not an expensive car, it's a Peugeot...) or for my wealth (i'm not rich, i've never been, i was just a well paid computer systems engineer) or for my big house.

I don't have anything to show-off to her except me. And she still insist to try this relationship.

She is not rich as well, she had a difficult life (if i believe what she says) and when we speak together she is at least as mature as i am in certain subjects of life, let alone the comparison with my ex.

But,

I am worried to continue on this...when i'll be 50 she will be 36. I'm gonna be something different than what i look now but she will be pretty much the same.

Is there a future to this?

[bauzace50]

HI,

there's a lot of sense in the comments above...love conquers all, and forget about age differences. "Amor vincit omnia", as vincula2008 would say.

My divorce came at age 49, and then I had this INTENSE relationship with this gorgeous (recently divorced with two young daughters) woman...gorgeous/gorgeous age 36. We both fell head-over-heels for each other, for about 15 months! I don't mind saying I made up for ALL the HELL of the previous 19 YEARS of a HELLISH "marriage". This new relationship felt GREAT.

Once, I accidentally paraded with this girlfriend in front of the strega ( witch sounds more fatal in Italian) ...and I don't mind saying it was the best revenge ever in my entire life. Oooohhhh sweet revenge, and this girlfiend was dressed in her blinding-red dress! Oh, boy!

And then...it was all over. Kaput! Suddenly! She decided she wanted out!

Interpretation, with application to your question: Age had NOTHING to do with her ending the relationship. Very long and careful analysis made that very clear. Her issues were of another nature. (But my metabolism goes into overdrive every single time I remember her).

The very thing that makes a difference is each person's commitment. If both are profoundly commited, and continue to commit as new issues arise in life, the relationship will go on. BUT the relationship needs the commitment of BOTH parties. You can only control YOUR OWN commitment. It is a necessity, and a reality, and a certainty, that you have to let her FREE to make her own commitments. If she withdraws her commitment to you...that's IT. Nothing/nothing/nothing can change that. Nothing...one HAS to let her GO without explanation. The only valid reason is:" I don't want to go on with this relationship." There is NO other valid reason. It is an uncontestable reason. Looking for other reasons is utterly wasteful and potentially deadly. One simply lets go...and that's IT. (Oh, but one should try to break the financial values equitably...but that is another subject, entirely).

Just make your own commitments, and let go of other people's. Freedom is life's greatest risk, but it is better, because one controls one's own path instead of another person's. ( It IS greatly gratifying if one's path is accompanied by the loved person, but that is the risk of Freedom. Both are free to commit to each other, and neither one owns the other...because ownership ENDS freedom and establishes slavery). Slavery is a removal of human dignity on the way to a lower form of life.
bauzace50

[davidsss]

I have been with my partner for over 20 years. It does take a lot of give and take to last that long and a willingness to put up with the little irritations which we cause each other. Love can conquer all if you put in the work.

My partner is 8.5 years older than me. When we got together she was 30 and I was 21 so that was quite a difference. We are still happy and the age difference really isn't an issue. The child question can be an issue. When she was 37 she became pregnant and I was 28. In the end we decided to have the child, now she is 16 and neither of us regret the decision. But, the question of whether to have the child was a bigger one for her since her biological clock was ticking whereas mine had plenty of years left.

From my experience it is viable.

DS

[mysticfred]

Some interesting stories above - my advice is get what you can while you can or spend years regretting it


JJ and Satanfriendly... go for it - as long as you can still run in the egg and spoon race on parents sports day in ten years time

safe1 - grab her while she's still interested

bauzace - the higher they take you up the harder you fall - dust yourself off and add the experience to your "portfolio"


...myself i have a very large portfolio, still haven't found miss right though have a lot of great memories
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[JollyJeweller]

JJ and Satanfriendly... go for it - as long as you can still run in the egg and spoon race on parents sports day in ten years time


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Haven't Health and Safety and the Animal Rights groups put paid to Egg and Spoon races
In my favour, although 52, am very healthy and very fit, still got a full head of thick black hair and can easily take 10 or so years off my age, so will look like a 52 year old in 10 years !
Babies though....so disruptive...
Should your partner hold you to ransom though...give me a baby or I'll have to consider leaving and finding someone who will.
A friend said to me last week at 34 a woman wants to swap wine bottles for baby bottles, I'm still very happy with my Riojas !
A very difficult issue, and it's down to the individuals in the end.
SF, good luck, hope you sort yours out successfully, mine's looking very wobbly

Safe 1, i'd go for it and worry about what happens later, later.
Enjoy the time, as they say, Carp Diem, seize the fish
(that's not what it means...I know!)

[safe1]

A lot of posts and a lot of persons (i prefer that than to say "members" ) replied.

I needed that, i was looking forward to that, i read everyone's comment very carefully and with great interest. It really helps to hear other people opinion on this. I have to thank you..

I want to quote all comments that you wrote here but i'm not so good to multiple quotes. So i'll quote nothing although i want to.

All people said to me about the same thing: "go for it".

I smiled when i read mysticfred's comment: "grab her while she's still interested" I'd really want to do it.

I'm afraid, to be honest. Of what? i don't really know.
I never had a relationship with a woman 14 years younger than me and my mind can't solve the equation: "what does she really want from me?"

The fact that she is so mature and her mind works with the speed of light make that fear stronger.

I know it's not a compliment for me, a 40yo man, to say this, but i think that i'm losing my control, which i have in tons as long as i remember myself.

Is that falling in love? Because it didn't happen to me for years and i don't remember...