The only higher end cartidge I have used in the Jelcos is my Audio Technica AT-OC9MLII which worked very well in the SA-750D. It was less certain of itself in the SA-370 but then this went away for a service and wiring upgrade and apparently the bearings were in a bit of a state! I have not tried it again since it came back.
With regard to headshells, I use the standard item that came with the SA-750D and generally use Vestax items with the SA-370s - these are good performers at a reasonable price and also come in some nice colours, namely gold, silver, black, blue and green. (Most of the LAD decks are blue, so the whole effect looks good!). They are also virtually identical to the items that LAD headshells that came fitted on the arms originally. It seems that all the cartridges I have used on it are in the 7-8g weight range so i have not needed to experiment with different headshells or balance weights.
With regards to the oil damping, I personally do not use it. I have experimented with it and found on each occasion that it made things rather slow and lifeless sounding.
It's a shame you have discounted the SA-250ST as I personally think this is a better arm than the SA-250. The SA-250ST sounds cleaner and more precise, and vibrational measurement shows it to be a much better damped design then the SA-250.

