As topic title, turntable for sale. It is probably the best sounding turntable on the planet so if you are looking you would be mad not to snap it up. I'm not going to waste time describing it or adding a picture as if you really know your turntables as opposed to just thinking you do, you won't waste time asking.
Condition? As you'd expect for a well loved turntable of this calibre. Price? Sensible offers above the original list price considered. This will probably be your last chance to buy one of these so don't miss out. Reason for sale? Honestly, I don't have one. I don't need the money so don't waste time with low ball offers. Selling this turntable is an act of benevolence on my part and I won't be offering it for sale again, ever. I have two of these and will sell you the best one. That is the kind of guy I am. As I have owned this from new I will need to vet the suitability of the buyer. This isn't going to be sold to any Tom, Dick or Harry. You will need to prove you deserve this turntable and that you have the means to keep it in the same condition in which you receive it.
To prove that you have what it takes to make an offer please write a few lines about yourself and why you deserve to own probably the best sounding turntable on the planet. Please don't ask silly questions like what turntable is it or what is the ball park price as you will just embarrass yourself. As I am expecting considerable interest in this sale I will expect interested parties to make a concerted effort to impress me, and believe me when I say that I am not easily impressed. This is why I use the term probably the best to describe this sale, when other sellers would describe this as the best turntable, if only they had the opportunity to own one, which they don't. One of the conditions of the sale is that should you choose to resell it I will have first refusal at sale price less 25%. This is a turntable for life. That is why I won't be selling the other example I own, despite it not being quite as good as the one for sale. They really are that good, which if you know your stuff you already knew.
In the highly improbable event that no suitable person declares an interest within a sensible time-frame, yet to be decided, I will either keep this turntable for myself or advertise somewhere with more discerning / deserving clientèle. I hope I have chosen well and the lucky person resides here.
Charles K Butterworth OBE MBA GCSE
Earl of Tottenham